How does an athlete go about building a solid relationship with his/her coach and teammates? The relationship between a player, coach, and teammates is give and take. There are a host of qualities that you, as a player, can bring to the table for a solid relationship in a team setting.
Fill out the “unofficial” self-reflective questionnaire provided below. No one is peering over your shoulder or checking out your replies so be honest with yourself. This way, you will see the ways in which you are on the road to building a solid team relationship, as well as those areas in which you are deficient and could stand to improve.
Qualities For Building A Solid Relationship With Your Coach And Teammate
Awareness Questionnaire
Circle the number at the end of the response that most closely resembles your behavior and reactions.
Personal Responsibility: To engage and strive for a high level of success is a decision you make each day. The knowledge an athlete achieves regarding focus, commitment to a program, and participation with a positive attitude are frequently learned qualities. In good situations, these qualities can also be groomed with guidance from coaches.
1. How do you show up mentally and physically for practices?
a) As I change into my workout clothes or uniform I begin to focus on the mental/physical routines which help me become mentally and physically ready to engage in a worthwhile practice. (3)
b) When we meet as a team and the coach discusses goals for the practice, it takes me awhile to tune in and become fully present. I am slow to warm-up and get with the program, both mentally and physically. (2)
c) I frequently meander into practices late. I often need a teammate or coach to fill me in on what the schedule is for the practice. I don’t like knowing the details ahead of time. I stay interested by not knowing what is next. (1)
Managing Emotions: In Control of Self: During the course of the season, many events happen on and off the field that have the potential to be disruptive.
2. How do you manage your emotions when life distractions occur?
a) I’ve developed skills to let go of negative thoughts and refocus my energies on the positive. I know that even when there are a lot of negatives in a situation, there are still pieces I can control to maintain a positive focus. (3)
b) When I experience low energy days because of distractions (school, relationship conflicts, etc.), I can become irritable with myself and others, which affects the quality of my games, practices, and overall performance. (2)
c) Small incidences and inconveniences often set me off emotionally and ruin practices. Sometimes my funk lasts for days. Once I get off track emotionally, I don’t have the tools or patience to shift the negative roller coaster until things go my way again. (1)
Dependability: I make a commitment to myself and the success of the team by setting and achieving goals that improve my athletic skills.
3. How dependable are you as a team player?
a) I’ve earned a reputation for quality performances (not perfect, but consistent). I know my consistency is due to the extra time I put into my preparation. My coaches and teammates are confident that I will be ready to perform in a clutch situation. I don’t always succeed, but I am known to give a full effort and exhibit confidence. (3)
b) My dependability as a player comes and goes. I attend all the practices, but don’t put in any extra time or effort unless it’s a big game. (2)
c) When I don’t feel inspired to go to the gym, or practices aren’t required, I allow myself to slide. Relying on my natural talent has always been my good fortune. (1)
Communication: Team dynamics are often complex. It is not unusual for a coach and player to have misunderstandings and miscommunication during the course of a season.
4. When conflicts arise between the coach and myself or another player…
a) I am able to step back and think out my part of the conflict. Sometimes I seek out counsel from a trusted teammate to gain perspective. After I think about the issue and my part in it, I decide the next action step. Frequently, I can let the issue go, or if I can’t, I make time to resolve it with the coach or player. (3)
b) I ignore problems and usually wait them out until they disappear. Often I sit on my feelings and it makes me moody for days. (2)
c) I whine to the coach about the other player and make it the coach's problem. Or if I have a conflict with the coach, I whine to my teammates until they are tired of listening to me. (1)
Value: Value and character are meaningful qualities you contribute to the team experience.
5. In what ways do you bring value to the team environment?
a) I am a role player. I understand the importance of everyone’s contribution within the team dynamic. Even though I prefer the status of “star” (who doesn’t), I have no problem getting the ball into the hands of a teammate who is in position to score. (3)
b) I know my assigned role on the team and the expectations of my position as a player, but I’m often not happy with the role. Sometimes I don’t put out as much effort as I can because I don’t feel my value is recognized. (2)
c) I’m not really clear about my role on the team and in what ways my emotional energy has an influence. I just enjoy playing. (1)
Respect: Respect includes respect for the team, the players, the coach, and your opponents.
6. How does respect fit into your playing experience?
a) I understand the big picture of sports and my responsibility as an athlete to be prepared for all the challenges of playing on a team. At times, the coach will make choices I don’t agree with, or a teammate will do something that I am not happy with, but it is a part of the team culture and I respect it. (3)
b) I respect most of the coaches and most of the players, but I can’t/don’t like and get along with everyone all the time. (2)
c) I respect my coach and teammates, but refuse to buy into developing respect for my opponent. Although I know some opponents are well-established players, an attitude of disrespect for my opponent serves as motivation for me. (1)
Score: Tally up the numbers from your selected replies.
Score: (18-13) Your relationship with your coach and teammates is probably working well for you. You show up ready to compete and know that there will always be issues, challenges, and situations that need to be worked out. Sometimes things don’t go in your favor. When opportunities arise you are prepared and ready to respond. The coach will notice these qualities in you. He/she will recognize your maturity, dependability, and value as a player and a team leader.
Score: (12-7) Take a look at the 2’s and 1’s you checked off the list. Do you have any ideas as to how you can work on improving in these areas? Sometimes the coach needs to improve in areas as well, but this is about you and what you can do to move your athletic involvement forward on a good note.
Score: (6 or less) OUCH!!!!!! Get some support and ideas to understand how you can improve your situation. If everyone is wrong but you, you have a tough road ahead. If you are in a high school setting, see if you can find some sport psychology books about team participation and mental skills. There are many, many of these books available online. If you are in a college setting, you can go the book route and/or check in with a sports counselor through the athletic department or counseling department. Make sure the counselor has sport psychology training and knowledge.
Susan Zaro is a sports psychology consultant who frequently presents workshops at colleges, high schools, and athletic associations concerning "Stress Management" and "Incorporating Mental Skills Training in Athletic Programs." She has given numerous workshops on peak performance for teams, schools, and athletic clubs. For more information, you can contact Susan at sprthlth@earthlink.net or check out her website, http://www.sportshealthcounseling.com.
